God is faithful even when it is H.A.R.D | Shouldering on...

 

I wrote back in October about my Frozen Shoulder diagnosis and journey up until that point. After 2 weeks of extremely painful physical therapy I gained very little in range of motion, so the doctor decided I needed to have an MRI. Through the Bosnian Health System I would be able to get one on the 23rd of January! So, having some good private insurance, I decided to go to a private clinic and on the 5th of November, I had the MRI. 

I don't think I was very surprised when I got the results on the 8th and instead of showing any signs of frozen shoulder, they instead showed a perforated bursa and inflammation of the subacromial space: (translation: very different from frozen shoulder 🙈)

I went back to the orthopaedic specialist with the results and he told me that it was for surgery. As I was already travelling to South Africa in December (for the first time in almost 3 years) I asked him if I should just change my tickets and do the surgery there. He said "If I were you, that is what I would do". So, I was trying to figure out if I could change my tickets, which doctor to see in South Africa and thinking about all the things that I needed to prepare for those that would be left behind to handle.

I was looking at the flights etc and trying to decide when to leave when we found out that the Covid policies had changed in Croatia and instead of having someone drive me to the airport, I would need to take the bus, so the trip would be over 24 hours with a wonky (and painful!) shoulder 😥

About 10 days before I travelled, I was spending time reading my bible. I was complaining to the Lord about everything that was going on - the uncertainty, the long trip, everything that needed to get done, everything...

I am someone who journals, and I use the YouVersion Bible app on my phone. I am usually going through 2 or 3 different Bible Reading plans at the same time. The first plan had verses with refreshment and rest and "cheer", and I was writing these all down and just praying to the Lord silently: "ok Lord, I am not sure when I will be able to find rest or refreshment or any sort of cheer..." And it just triggered me. I just started journalling my pain and annoyance (the Lord can take it!) and just getting it all down. I had a full blown pity party in my journal...

Now, to go back in time a little, when I did my Youth with a Mission (YWAM) Discipleship Training School (DTS) in 1996, the verses that we as an outreach team had were from Philippians 3:10,11 "I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death,  and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead." 

After I finished my DTS, I didn't go back straight away into YWAM as I was afraid of what I saw was a calling to full time ministry and kind of ran away for a year and a half: I worked first at the University of Cape Town and then travelled to the UK and US, and all the time these verses kept coming back and haunting me. Showing me that I was no longer doing that which I felt called to on my DTS - to know Christ and Him alone. 

And then one time, I read verse 12 and it was like a lightening bolt: 

I realised that I didn't have to have it all together to join YWAM, and follow God's call on my life - I have NOT already obtained all this... But the important factor is that I need to keep pressing on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me... so I applied to join staff in YWAM in 1998 and the rest as they say, is history.

And subsequently, Philippians 3:10-14 have become my beacon, my life verses, the sermon that I try to preach each day.  (And in fact, I have preached actual sermons on these verses very often!)

So fast forward to two weeks ago, and as I was in the throws of the full-on pity party, I felt His still small voice whisper to me, "Go read the verses in the next plan". I thought, "That's weird, but ok". And as soon as I opened up to the set of scriptures in the plan, I KNEW it was the Lord: because no prizes for guessing - the verses being looked at in that plan were Philippians 3:10-14!!!!! 

Because of the courage and strength that reminder gave me, I managed to finish off everything before I left. Because of God's grace and faithfulness, I made it safely back to South Africa and the trip was so much smoother than I could have imagined. I have an appointment next week with a (highly recommended) specialist and am now waiting to see if and when the shoulder operation will happen. 

This has all served as a reminder that I serve a faithful God who looks at people healthily lamenting their pain and letting it all out, but doesn't leave them there. Instead He reminds them of who He is and who they are in Him and gives them the grace they need to make it through, even when things are H.A.R.D.

This is an addition to the series of blogposts about God’s faithfulness when things are H.A.R.D. which I wrote in February and March 2021.

YWAM Enniskillen team and Faith and Conflict 2021

The YWAM team from Enniskillen, Northern Ireland arrived mid-October for 2 weeks of their lecture phase for the Discipleship Training School and then 6 weeks of outreach. I was supposed to teach the whole of the first week, but with my ongoing problems with my frozen shoulder, I taught Monday, Tuesday and Friday in my special chair (with arms!):

Then they took care of Wednesday and Ljilja and Sinisa shared with them on the Thursday. I of course didn't get a photo with them, but luckily Ljilja did:  

There are two girls from Lebanon, and we had to help get them their visas which was a lot of paperwork, but it all worked out in the end! There are also three from Northern Ireland and one from the US. And they are a very sweet bunch! 

After that first week it was time to take the show on the road and head to Tuzla for the 5th Bosnian and Herzegovinian Faith and Conflict. We were joined by others from Rostrevor, Northern Ireland, but it was the smallest group we have had (which was probably a good thing because of a) Covid, and b) my limitations because of my frozen shoulder!)

And actually, my wonderful colleague, Käte, came along from Banja Luka and it was mainly because of her that I was able to make it all work. She helped with the transport and logistics and it meant I didn't have to drive there (which is not possible at present). I also tried to be clever where I could - so when I wasn't presenting or translating for those who were, I was trying to rest. But I still ended up overdoing it near the end, oh well. 

But we still managed to have a great week, and managed to have many learning experiences. We learnt so much from the "Local Voices" sharing their stories of faith or from some gracious teachers who travelled up to Tuzla (or joined us on zoom), or being involved in a lovely concert by Alex Atwell: sharing some of his songs and stories of reconciliation. 

I also sent them to Srebrenica to learn more about that, and we enjoyed a lovely tour of Tuzla - here we all are (minus Käte) at the viewpoint overlooking Tuzla: 

Now the team is in Sarajevo, but they will be coming back to Banja Luka in 3 weeks to spend 3 weeks of their practical phase with us here. We look forward to having them back! 

God is faithful even when it is H.A.R.D | Frozen Shoulder

Sometime in June, I started noticing that I was having problems manoeuvring my left shoulder. It wasn’t hurting that much; it just wouldn’t go in every direction. Then slowly but surely it started to hurt when I tried to go in every direction. I didn’t have time to try and get to a doctor as that was exactly when we had two teams come and then we went on vacation. And the system here is incredibly slow… and at that stage I thought it would just go away on its own. Oh boy, was I wrong… 

While I was on vacation it started getting worse and worse and the pain was horrible, but even in that I could see God’s faithfulness. I shared in my vacation blog about how because of the pain, I would get up in the middle of the night to take more medicine… and that was how I got to see the extraordinary sight of the full moon over the water. It was one of those moments in my life which I will never forget – and I would never have seen that if the pain hadn’t woken me up. 

I got back to Banja Luka and then it took three weeks to get the diagnosis of “frozen shoulder”. Basically the joint capsule itself is inflamed and goes stiff and hard rather than being a soft membrane that keeps everything together. 

Source: WebMD

It was called periarthritis when it was first discovered in the 19th century and apparently since then they are still struggling with how it all works and how best to treat it. But the good news is that it usually just goes away by itself – even if it takes up to a year or more at times.

I remember when I shared the diagnosis with friends: all of those who have had it before (and there were actually quite a few) sent their condolences… so that was a clue how bad it is…

I have found some tricks and run arounds, like sleeping on my back – I never ever ever ever thought I would be able to sleep on my back, but it really is the only way I can sleep at least some now. I am also taking some really good drugs (anti-inflammatories) which help a lot! 

After the diagnosis it took another 3 weeks to get in to see a specialist at the rehab hospital. And then after that exactly a month before they called me for my physical therapy, this last week. In all that time, I have been living with a painful shoulder, doing what exercises I can find online to help keep some range of motion.

The first thing that I realised I couldn't do is to play guitar… so leading worship at church hasn’t happened since August. But again God’s faithfulness is shown in that we have formed a little worship band and I am coaching others both on the piano and the guitar. I see how not being able to do things has encouraged others to HAVE to step up. 

And then in October, I was supposed to be helping to run a YWAM leadership conference in Albania. I decided in the end that it really wasn’t a good idea for me to go, and so handed over all I was doing to other people. It went well in the end, and I got to join in on the livestream, but I was of course sad that I couldn’t go and see everyone at the gathering. 

When I was telling people why I wasn't coming, I told them I was waiting to go to rehab and was on some strong drugs to keep me going. One of them quipped, "So we will tell people you couldn't come because you were hooked on drugs and had to go to rehab." :) 

My range of motion is quite limited in that left shoulder - so hairwashing for instance became harder, so I decided to get my hair cut :) It is the shortest it has been in over 30 years! My hairdresser has been trying to get me to do it short for years, but I always wanted to be able to put it up... now I can't put it up anyway, so I thought, "Why not!" I call it my frozen shoulder haircut. And I think it is pretty snazzy... 

Now, the physical therapy has started and it is every day for 3 hours for 2 weeks. (here is my blog on how physical therapy works here in this country). I can genuinely say some of it is wonderful and some of it is complete torture. But even after just 3 days I can already see some small improvement in my range of motion, so I believe it is doing me good, even despite the pain. 

I decided to write this blog today, as a way to remind myself that God is faithful even in the midst of the hard. Even in the wilderness I can see the little flowers growing through the cracks – showing His faithful presence is with me through it all. I know that through it all, He is with me, His rod and His staff are comforting me and with my shepherd by my side, I can face anything. I don’t know how much longer this condition may last, but I do know that it will not be for eternity… even if it feels like it sometimes! 

This is an addition to the series of blogposts about God’s faithfulness when things are H.A.R.D. which I wrote in February and March 2021.

Children's Week Workshop

The first week in October is called "Children's Week" and helps children remember their rights. The theme this year was "Together we can achieve anything" and we had a lot of fun with it! 

We usually do a workshop at the children's home, but because of Covid restrictions we are not allowed to take a lot of people in, so instead we organised it our place. Half of the children come from the Home and half come from our sponsorship project. 

When I was thinking about working together, I thought about the aspect of the puzzle - where you need each piece to make the whole puzzle come together. It is so important to have each unique piece making a contribution to the whole - and once we are altogether we are a beautiful picture.

So, we ended up doing activities based on puzzles and putting stuff together - so for instance we made a healthy peanut butter/honey/oat ball for our snack - each ingredient on its own is great, but together they make something even better... I loved the fact that even the snack was part of the message 🙂

I had so much fun working with our "new" (she arrived in January, so no longer quite so new) teammate, Käte, on bringing it all together. And we couldn't have done it without our wonderful volunteers.

The framed pictures say "Together we can achieve anything" and each puzzle piece was coloured in by a child, so we did it all together.  One went to the Home and one we will keep 🙂 Each child also decorated their own puzzle pieces to take home! A good reminder that together we can achieve anything, but also that they are all unique and special and make an important contribution to the whole,  just like the puzzle pieces!! 

Krštenje (Christening)

It has been 1 year since our friends, Dragana and Marinko, got their miracle baby, Ana. She is the result of the 10th try at IVF and in between the 9th and 10th try they spent 2 years trying to adopt before realising that wasn't going to happen either and deciding on "one last try". You can imagine how happy and excited we were for them when Ana was born!!!! 

As is common here, for her first birthday, she was also christened and to celebrate it all, there was a huge party! And during the celebrations there were many times we were all tearing up just at the thought of all they had been through to get this gorgeous, darling, sweet baby girl! 

We started at their house, before heading to the church for the ceremony there. She was so good, despite being "abused" by the Priest, and for it being her normal nap time, she hardly complained at all. 

At the ceremony, the "Kum" (Godfather) stands in her place and declares his surrender to Christ on her behalf, and then also his commitment to leading her in the way of faith. It was quite sweet because at the end the Priest even shared how important the "Kum" is in the Serbian Orthodox faith, and in fact how he now becomes just like a family member. And it was made even more poignant that their "Kum" is a neighbour who had lost his wife to cancer 2 years ago, and so his daughter was the "Kuma"  (Godmother). 

Here is a little taste of what some of the ceremony is like in an Orthodox church (Video Credit: Snjezana Vojnović):

As Ljilja was on her way back from Trebinje for this part, I was hanging out with my friends (and their neighbours), Tanja and her daughter, Snjezana. It worked out nicely as Tanja's husband, Damjan was travelling back from his folks, so I could be their transport to the church and back instead. 

Then it was time to party! In a tent in their garden: 

And my dad would have been proud, as they had a (very fancy) bouncy castle for all the kids: 

Here is just a snippet of the "kolo" (circular) dancing to give you a bit of the atmosphere: 

The "kolo", a range of traditional folk dances, is actually on the Unesco "Intangible Cultual Heritage" list. The one in the above video is the "Užička" from Užice, which is probably the "easiest". I remember the first time I got into the dance was at a friend's wedding and I saw this older man just going around moving his arms in the right way and not really caring what his legs were doing... so I thought "well I can do THAT" and got into it... But it isn't hard once you know what to do. (but unfortunately, my shoulder was too sore to get involved this time...) 

There was other kinds of dancing as well - here is a little snippet of the folk music style for you to enjoy: 

The music stopped long enough for us to enjoy a lovely meal of spit roast pork with all the trimmings :) And then it was time for the cake! 

Or should I say cakes!!!! We certainly had enough :)

Then it was time to celebrate some more this precious gift from God! She really is such a blessing! 

Bumping into my sister...

During our lovely holiday in Montenegro we heard that Astrid and David (my sister and brother-in-law) were going to be in Dubrovnik... a plan was formed. On the way back to Trebinje from Montenegro we would take a detour to visit them :) 

It meant an extra border, but luckily we were all able to cross into Croatia as Ljilja and I are vaccinated and Sina is EU, so we could "just do it" as they say...except it took an hour at the border, but it was worth the wait! Even thought it was very short, just a coffee together, it was very sweet as we haven't seen each other since the beginning of last year! 

We managed to surprise my mom as my sister called her to say "hey look how hot it is here...while you are cold in SA" and then said "oh and look who else we found here..." and turned the phone unto me! Yay for fun surprises! (Although my Mom is quite clever as she had written to my sister, "Hey, the 3 Musketeers are in the area, maybe they will come and see you"... so I am not really so sure how surprised she was!)

And the best part of all was that she managed to bring me some marmite and Twinings tea, so I was grateful for that too!! 

I have especially been craving marmite which you can't get here... and that is something no one who doesn't love marmite can understand!

Montenegro vacation

This year, our 11th year of taking vacations together, Sina, Ljilja and I decided to enjoy our neighbouring country, Montenegro. We started up in the beautiful northeast of the country, in the Durmitor mountains. We took a lovely hike around the "Black lake", which was beautiful, despite being caught in the rain: 

We also went to see the Tara canyon, which was equally lovely: 

We then headed to the southwest, nearer to the coast: and stayed near to Skadar Lake. One day we took a drive along the scenic route to the sea, and it reminded me a lot of Cape Town: 

We took a little boat trip on the lake, which was very special: 

Then we headed to the coast, just in time to celebrate someone's birthday: 

Sina and I managed to organise a cake and candles and surprise her, yay! 

We were staying near the city of Bar, so one night we enjoyed "Stari Bar" or "Old town Bar": 

This is me with my arty pic through the Arch of the aquaduct! 

One of the down sides of this whole lovely vacation was the fact that I was nursing an extremely sore shoulder and my pain medicine would run out in the middle of the night, so I would wake up take some more and then have to wait until it kicked in... 

But that actually turned into an advantage as I managed to see the moon over the sea in various different ways every night. We had a wonderful view over the sea which really helped! Here she is waxing on a cloudless night: 

And here she is full on a cloudy night, so beautiful: 

So even despite the sore shoulder putting a pall on the vacation, I did manage to see the advantage of it! We had a wonderful time as always otherwise. I read 11 books, we watched 10 movies together and played over 8 different types of games... All in all a relaxing holiday :) 

Hosting teams again!!!

In the last two weeks of June, we hosted two teams back to back. After not having any teams for almost a year and a half, it was refreshing having teams come again! 

The first team of 8 was with InterVarsity from the USA and were spending most of their time in Sarajevo, but started with us to do some orientation and also have a fun "Cultural Night".

The second team of 4 was also from the US, and spending time in many cities around Bosnia, helping run English Camps for kids. They taught completely in English (with a smattering of translation here and there) and the kids picked up a LOT of English in the 3 days of camps.

One fun thing was that we got the youngest "family unit" from the Children's Home to come and join in (here are two of them from the back) and so we got to spend time with "our" Children's Home kids that we haven't been able to see because of Corona... The other kids were all from our sponsorship project. 

 

Here we all are (faces of children are delibrately blanked per our Child Protection Policy):

We had some of the older kids come and help out as volunteers which was also fun! 

And then we had some time together to debrief out two weeks of teams... Ljilja, Belinda, Käte and Haley:

It was fun to have teams again after such a long time of not having them. It did help that they were all vaccinated, and that our covid case numbers have been very low. But after the busy two weeks, we were all ready for a break! 

Easter Workshop

Last weekend, we held a workshop for our sponsorship children to celebrate Orthodox Easter (on May 2nd). We were originally planning to have it at the park, but then the weather was very unpredictable, so we decided to have it indoors at Ihtus. At the LAST minute the weather was good enough for us to be completely covid-safe and have it outside. We had two workshops back-to-back so we didn't have more than the 30 people allowed to gather and everyone had a great time! 

We started by playing some games, and then painted eggs: 

We had two groups - one younger and one older, here are some of the older kids: 

And some of the younger ones with their eggs: 

The youngest particpant in the first group (his mom stayed with him and helped out as well!)

We talked a bit about the Easter Story and they started to colour these in - and took them home to finish off: here is one of the finished projects: 

And then it was time for the main event (in their minds!) the "Easter" (Christmas) Packages. Because of Covid they came too late to give out at Christmas, so we are doing them more now at Easter! 

 And the youngest participant in the second group (who came with her older sisters) - so excited! 

And Alexa, one of our wonderful volunteers, made a lovely video so you can see more of what went on... Enjoy! 

As you can see it was a lovely workshop and the kids enjoyed themselves!!! Thanks to our wonderful volunteers, and to the mothers that also stayed and helped. Despite so many changes in plan along the way, everything worked out so well in the end!

Easter blog (for kids)

This is a special edition Easter blog.You can use it to have some fun Easter activities (and if you want with your children 😁) over Easter - either in April or for the Orthodox one that happens in May. I originally did it for our Central Europe blog on ywamce.com/blog and also because we are working on an Easter event for our children here. I hope you (and/or your kids) enjoy this as much as I did putting it together!

THE EASTER STORY

When we look at the story of Easter in Matthew, there are a few scenes that stand out... Here are 6 of them for you to enjoy (and colour!): 

The first scene happens on Palm Sunday where Jesus rode into Jerusalem on a donkey. What a strange way to enter if you are a King?! But He did it deliberately. If He came into the city on a horse, it would have been a sign He was coming to overthrow the Roman Government. Coming on a donkey showed that He came in peace. 

What did the people shout out? What does it mean? 
A: They shouted out "Hosana". It literally means "Save us"! Jesus is our King and Saviour!
What did the crowd put on the ground in front of Jesus?
A: Palm branches and their coats! Isn't that wild?! 

Task: Find a branch which can help you remember that Jesus is King! 

Then, on the Thursday night we see that Jesus had a dinner with his 12 disciples. Did you know that this dinner is where we get communion or the Lord's supper from? It was first just a part of an ordinary meal. 

What do we take when we take Communion and why? 
A: The bread which symbolises Christ's body and the wine which is for His blood. Ordinary things which symbolise something extraordinary! 

Task: Every time you have a meal, remember to thank Jesus for it and for His sacrifice for us!

Also on Thursday night, Jesus went with some of his disciples to pray in the garden.

Do you know what Jesus's disciples did while he was praying? 

A: They went to sleep! Even they found it hard to pray without going to sleep... but that doesn't mean we should pray. Jesus taught us how and we need to keep it up! 

Task: Every time you go to bed, remember that Jesus loves you!

On Good Friday, so many things happened... but the main event was that Jesus was crucified on a cross. 

Do you know why He had to die? 
A: To pay for our sins once and for all!! Isn't that amazing? Jesus, the Son of God paying the price so we don't have to! That is God's amazing grace - God's Riches At Christ's Expense.

Task: Every time you feel sad and lonely, remember that Jesus felt sad and lonely on the cross too. He knows what you are going through.

But, the cross was not the end of the story! After Jesus died, He was put in a tomb, and then amazingly, miraculously, incredibly, on Easter Sunday, He rose again!! 

What do we say on Easter Sunday when we greet each other? 
A: He is RISEN! The stone was rolled away and He is no longer in the grave. 

Task: Find a stone to remember that He is RISEN: He is no longer in the grave! 

When He rose again, He showed Himself to many people! He always showed love and grace towards them. 

Who were the first to find Him alive?

A:  Matthew tells us it was Mary Magdelene and "the other Mary". It is so amazing that women would have been the first to be shown God's glorious resurrection! 

Task: Remember to thank Jesus for all that He has done for you

Easter is such a good time of year to remember all that Jesus did for us. These are just some of the highlights out of Matthew. I hope you have enjoyed this glimpse into six scenes from the Easter story! 

Click HERE for all the pictures for you to colour in one document. (You can also cut them out and try and match them to the right verses and put them in the right order.) 

Here is another great reminder of the whole week in one go: From Sunday to Sunday so much happens! You can click HERE to download this to colour. 

Happy Easter everyone! He is Risen Indeed!!

(and thanks to Children's Ministry Deals for some of these pictures)