God is faithful even when it is H.A.R.D | Shouldering on...

 

I wrote back in October about my Frozen Shoulder diagnosis and journey up until that point. After 2 weeks of extremely painful physical therapy I gained very little in range of motion, so the doctor decided I needed to have an MRI. Through the Bosnian Health System I would be able to get one on the 23rd of January! So, having some good private insurance, I decided to go to a private clinic and on the 5th of November, I had the MRI. 

I don't think I was very surprised when I got the results on the 8th and instead of showing any signs of frozen shoulder, they instead showed a perforated bursa and inflammation of the subacromial space: (translation: very different from frozen shoulder 🙈)

I went back to the orthopaedic specialist with the results and he told me that it was for surgery. As I was already travelling to South Africa in December (for the first time in almost 3 years) I asked him if I should just change my tickets and do the surgery there. He said "If I were you, that is what I would do". So, I was trying to figure out if I could change my tickets, which doctor to see in South Africa and thinking about all the things that I needed to prepare for those that would be left behind to handle.

I was looking at the flights etc and trying to decide when to leave when we found out that the Covid policies had changed in Croatia and instead of having someone drive me to the airport, I would need to take the bus, so the trip would be over 24 hours with a wonky (and painful!) shoulder 😥

About 10 days before I travelled, I was spending time reading my bible. I was complaining to the Lord about everything that was going on - the uncertainty, the long trip, everything that needed to get done, everything...

I am someone who journals, and I use the YouVersion Bible app on my phone. I am usually going through 2 or 3 different Bible Reading plans at the same time. The first plan had verses with refreshment and rest and "cheer", and I was writing these all down and just praying to the Lord silently: "ok Lord, I am not sure when I will be able to find rest or refreshment or any sort of cheer..." And it just triggered me. I just started journalling my pain and annoyance (the Lord can take it!) and just getting it all down. I had a full blown pity party in my journal...

Now, to go back in time a little, when I did my Youth with a Mission (YWAM) Discipleship Training School (DTS) in 1996, the verses that we as an outreach team had were from Philippians 3:10,11 "I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death,  and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead." 

After I finished my DTS, I didn't go back straight away into YWAM as I was afraid of what I saw was a calling to full time ministry and kind of ran away for a year and a half: I worked first at the University of Cape Town and then travelled to the UK and US, and all the time these verses kept coming back and haunting me. Showing me that I was no longer doing that which I felt called to on my DTS - to know Christ and Him alone. 

And then one time, I read verse 12 and it was like a lightening bolt: 

I realised that I didn't have to have it all together to join YWAM, and follow God's call on my life - I have NOT already obtained all this... But the important factor is that I need to keep pressing on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me... so I applied to join staff in YWAM in 1998 and the rest as they say, is history.

And subsequently, Philippians 3:10-14 have become my beacon, my life verses, the sermon that I try to preach each day.  (And in fact, I have preached actual sermons on these verses very often!)

So fast forward to two weeks ago, and as I was in the throws of the full-on pity party, I felt His still small voice whisper to me, "Go read the verses in the next plan". I thought, "That's weird, but ok". And as soon as I opened up to the set of scriptures in the plan, I KNEW it was the Lord: because no prizes for guessing - the verses being looked at in that plan were Philippians 3:10-14!!!!! 

Because of the courage and strength that reminder gave me, I managed to finish off everything before I left. Because of God's grace and faithfulness, I made it safely back to South Africa and the trip was so much smoother than I could have imagined. I have an appointment next week with a (highly recommended) specialist and am now waiting to see if and when the shoulder operation will happen. 

This has all served as a reminder that I serve a faithful God who looks at people healthily lamenting their pain and letting it all out, but doesn't leave them there. Instead He reminds them of who He is and who they are in Him and gives them the grace they need to make it through, even when things are H.A.R.D.

This is an addition to the series of blogposts about God’s faithfulness when things are H.A.R.D. which I wrote in February and March 2021.

YWAM Enniskillen team and Faith and Conflict 2021

The YWAM team from Enniskillen, Northern Ireland arrived mid-October for 2 weeks of their lecture phase for the Discipleship Training School and then 6 weeks of outreach. I was supposed to teach the whole of the first week, but with my ongoing problems with my frozen shoulder, I taught Monday, Tuesday and Friday in my special chair (with arms!):

Then they took care of Wednesday and Ljilja and Sinisa shared with them on the Thursday. I of course didn't get a photo with them, but luckily Ljilja did:  

There are two girls from Lebanon, and we had to help get them their visas which was a lot of paperwork, but it all worked out in the end! There are also three from Northern Ireland and one from the US. And they are a very sweet bunch! 

After that first week it was time to take the show on the road and head to Tuzla for the 5th Bosnian and Herzegovinian Faith and Conflict. We were joined by others from Rostrevor, Northern Ireland, but it was the smallest group we have had (which was probably a good thing because of a) Covid, and b) my limitations because of my frozen shoulder!)

And actually, my wonderful colleague, Käte, came along from Banja Luka and it was mainly because of her that I was able to make it all work. She helped with the transport and logistics and it meant I didn't have to drive there (which is not possible at present). I also tried to be clever where I could - so when I wasn't presenting or translating for those who were, I was trying to rest. But I still ended up overdoing it near the end, oh well. 

But we still managed to have a great week, and managed to have many learning experiences. We learnt so much from the "Local Voices" sharing their stories of faith or from some gracious teachers who travelled up to Tuzla (or joined us on zoom), or being involved in a lovely concert by Alex Atwell: sharing some of his songs and stories of reconciliation. 

I also sent them to Srebrenica to learn more about that, and we enjoyed a lovely tour of Tuzla - here we all are (minus Käte) at the viewpoint overlooking Tuzla: 

Now the team is in Sarajevo, but they will be coming back to Banja Luka in 3 weeks to spend 3 weeks of their practical phase with us here. We look forward to having them back!